biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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