so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
