she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
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Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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