She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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