She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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