I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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