i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
