You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
