real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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