last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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