we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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