i just had sex bonerless
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
