I'm eating all of the evidence.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm both gender and math confused
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
