But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
