Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
