You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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