it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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