A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
