We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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