What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
