I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Who died my cat blue again?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
