He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
