you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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