pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
