someone owes me an orgasm
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
