I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You're a waste of cheezeits
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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