just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
