I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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