I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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