I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Tornado booty call.. dedication
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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