the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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