stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
