This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
