OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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