Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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