He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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