i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
