We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
