found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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