Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I need to calm my uterus...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
