We're like a lot better than the average bears
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
