just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Four minutes until I can fart!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
