he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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