i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
