I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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