Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
