this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
