I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
