My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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