i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
