Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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