Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
ok first of all what the fuck
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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