I think I died a long time ago.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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