No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
