Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
