I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
