I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
