that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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