cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize