Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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