Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize