I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
