i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
