I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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