so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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