so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
