filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Im part way to drunk.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
