She is in my trunk
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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