she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
