The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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