so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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